“TikTok is like the Wild West of dating advice—you’ve got gold nuggets of wisdom right next to tumbleweeds of toxicity,” says Veronica West, founder and psychologist at My Thriving Mind.
Perhaps you take things you see on social media with a grain of salt. But even if you do, repeated exposure to certain messages or types of content can end up being harmful in subtle ways, either by normalizing problematic behavior or reinforcing hateful ideas.
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“There is a lot of stuff that seems great that is actually coded for ideologies and communities that you may or may not align with, so spend a few extra minutes really looking into who it is you are watching before you click repost or decide to take their advice, according to Javay Frye-Nekrasova, sex educator at Lovehoney.
Need a little help discerning what’s worth a spot on your FYP? From harmless and fun trends to profound insights and everything in between, here are the best and worst TikTok dating trends and advice.
The Best TikTok Dating Trends & Advice
Green Flags
In a world where it’s easy to reduce entire human beings to labels or write them off without considering context, talking about green flags is a breath of fresh air. If you aren’t familiar with the term, green flags are positive traits that signal someone may be a good partner.
“Some creators focus on identifying positive traits in partners, like good communication or kindness, instead of just dodging red flags. This is a refreshing change that promotes healthy relationships,” says West.
Dating Wrapped
For the past couple of years, people have been taking to TikTok to share “year-in-review” summaries of their dating life complete with PowerPoint presentations and pie charts. The trend may seem silly at first, but it offers an opportunity to debrief and reflect on what’s working for you and what’s not. How else will you learn valuable lessons from that disastrous hookup?
Date the Person Who Will Do This
A woman went viral for sharing her mother’s intense yet eye-opening relationship advice: “The person you marry, you need to know with all your heart, will take you through the death of your mother and the death of your father.”
Whether you intend on getting married or not, the message is powerful for anyone looking to seriously share their life with someone. If you can’t picture your partner by your side as you navigate grief, it says something about your relationship.
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Loud Breakups
Hard-launching breakups is now a thing. Yes, going on TikTok to pour your heart out about your breakup can get messy, and it’s true that some things should be dealt with privately out of respect for everyone involved.
That said, this trend still accomplishes something incredibly positive: Making people going through heartbreak feel less alone while turning pain into purpose. Instead of suffering in silence, being vulnerable about a loss can help you find both healing and community.
Wisdom for Getting Over a Situationship
TikToker Olivia Victoria posted a viral video discussing why situationships feel so hard to move on from and how to get over one – and her advice was spot on. Situationships are filled with uncertainty, which contributes to keeping you hooked. The only way to get over a situationship is to remove yourself from it.
Then, allow yourself to process the loss and grieve as you would with any other ending. Don’t invalidate or downplay your feelings. “The validation that it’s actually OK to grieve it like a real relationship is soooo needed,” wrote one commenter.
The Worst TikTok Dating Trends & Advice
Red Flags Everywhere
Setting boundaries and removing yourself from problematic situations is crucial. But somewhere along the way, everything and everyone turned into a red flag on TikTok.
“Dating advice on TikTok tends to focus on virality over validity, with creators pushing exaggerated ‘hot takes’ that prioritize shock value over thoughtful guidance. This can cause people to mislabel normal relationship challenges as ‘toxic’ or ‘red flags,’” says Sandra Kushnir, LMFT. “Complex ideas like ‘narcissism’ or ‘gaslighting’ are often misrepresented or misused.”
Throning
What is throning? It’s about dating someone who will elevate your social status by association. Any relationship trend where the primary goal isn’t driven by a genuine desire to connect veers into toxic territory.
Transactional relationships will never lead to true fulfilment — and promoting them only promotes the idea that we should be OK using people and being used.
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Loyalty Tests
Have you heard of the Orange Peel Theory, where you ask your partner to do a simple task that you can easily do yourself, like peeling an orange for you? Some TikTok users believe that if your partner peels the orange, it’s a sign they truly love you. If they don’t, well, you can only imagine the subsequent fight.
Maybe you’ve even seen content about loyalty tests like sending a flirty DM to your significant other from a fake account. But testing partners, like playing mind games, is manipulative and also indicates underlying trust issues you should be working on together.
Bill-Splitting Advice
TikTok user Pearl Botts went viral for her controversial bill-splitting advice. “When a man wants to go fifty-fifty on a date do this,” reads the caption of her video. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed right now,” she adds, feigning shock. “Wait, you wanted to just be friends? I’m so confused. This entire time I thought this was a date. I’m so sorry, here’s my card.”
As a man, you may prefer picking up the tab on a date. You may want to go Dutch. It doesn’t really matter, as different daters have different preferences. But stating them in a passive-aggressive, sneaky way is terrible advice.
‘We Listen, We Don’t Judge’
The “We Listen, We Don’t Judge” trend was meant to be about creating safe spaces where couples give each other permission to share presumably harmless things they’ve kept secret. Unfortunately, it has backfired and led to breakups.
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“It started out great and fun, but as the trend became more popular, there were a lot of couples that did it and were saying really mean and malicious stuff to or about their partners, as well as [confessing to things] that you should not do in relationships and that, in a non-TikTok trend context, would have very different responses,” says Frye-Nekrasova.
For example, one woman shared the results of the challenge on Reddit: Her partner confessed that he had been playing a “prank” on her for the past two years. He tampered with her computer to make it extremely slow, which affected her studies. As you can imagine, she didn’t find it funny.
TikTok trends come and go, but here’s some timeless wisdom: Any advice you encounter on the platform should be seen as a conversation starter, not a final answer, says Kushnir.
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