For as long as love and lust have clouded people’s judgments, there’s been reason for unscrupulous people to try and take advantage of that. Online dating scams, meanwhile, go back about as far as online dating itself.
Each new technological step forward brings with it attempts to game and monetize it from scammers, and attempts to ban or prevent it from those who run the platforms. Catfishing, Tinder bots, beautiful women who are suspiciously into crypto — every few years seems to bring a new wave of scams to be on the lookout for.
So it’s no surprise that the rise of AI means that new scams are afoot. But has so-called artificial intelligence’s extreme capacity for generating realistic-seeming text given love scammers a huge advantage over innocent daters and those who would seek to protect them? And — as some new data suggests — are men more vulnerable to AI dating scams?
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In order to better understand the issue, AskMen spoke to an expert, as well as reviewing data from some recent studies. Here’s what we learned:
How AI Dating Scams Can Be Extra Dangerous
If romance scams have been around basically forever, what makes AI versions thereof so concerning?
Essentially, it’s two things: first, that AI bots are hard to recognize as such for most people, and second, that they enable scammers to have a long, drawn-out conversation with a mark with essentially zero human involvement — freeing them up to target more people than used to be possible.
1. People Can’t Differentiate Between What’s AI & What’s Real
The first of those two concerns may lessen over time as people get a better understanding of the tics and traits of AI bot behaviour, but consistently distinguishing real from AI is not a skill that most people currently have.
For instance, a recent study shared by UK-based lingerie brand Pour Moi in March of this year found that “57% of study participants believed they could spot a fake dating profile if they came across one; however, when presented with 10 profiles made up of six authentic and four AI-generated, 62% failed to identify the fakes.”
The issue goes well beyond photos, however, says Paul Tucker, chief information security and privacy officer at BOK Financial.
“AI has fundamentally changed the landscape of online fraud by removing many of the traditional warning signs that once helped people identify scams,” he says. “Previously, victims could spot red flags such as poor grammar, [and] generic messages.”
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“AI-generated content eliminates these flaws by producing realistic conversations,” Tucker adds, “and creating detailed fake backstories that make scammers appear more legitimate.”
The great power of AI text is how plausible it sounds — exactly the kind of thing that makes it great for scamming people.
2. AI Scamming Requires Much Less Effort From Scammers
The other factor — AI makes high-quality scamming possible at scale in a way that wasn’t possible just a few years ago — may not be likely to go away soon.
Scammers can now “automate and scale their operations in ways that were previously impossible,” says Tucker. “A single fraudster can now run hundreds of simultaneous interactions without direct human involvement, making these scams more widespread and persistent than ever before.”
This problem will require significant investment from online dating platforms to address, and anything that happens off those platforms will necessarily be out of their control.
For instance, “one of the biggest concerns is AI’s ability to personalize scams,” Tucker notes. “By scraping social media profiles, scammers can analyze a target’s personal details and craft messages tailored to their specific vulnerabilities.”
“If someone has recently gone through a breakup, lost a loved one, or shared financial struggles, scammers will use that information to build trust more quickly,” he adds. “The more they mirror a victim’s interests and emotions, the more convincing the deception becomes.”
Humans can do this too, of course, but it would take training, and hours of work for each potential mark. If scammers can automate the process, they could dramatically increase the number of people they’re scamming — which would mean your chances of encountering an AI scambot may only go up in the near future.
AI Dating Scams to Watch Out For
“Romance scams have existed for years, but AI has significantly expanded the ways scammers operate,” says Tucker. “Today’s scams use AI-generated personas that include deepfake videos, AI-created profile pictures, and chatbots that convincingly mimic human interactions.”
As a result, Tucker says, AI tools can allow scammers to create “highly detailed, seemingly real profiles that are hard to tell apart from actual legitimate users.”
As unfortunate as it is, “don’t trust anything you see on a dating app until you’ve met in real life” is actually pretty solid advice at this point. Which isn’t to say that no one has ever scammed someone in real life either, but it’s harder and much more labor-intensive to do that than to whip up some AI photos of attractive singles and program some AI chatbots to do your dirty work for you.
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Despite their relative recency, however, realistic fraudulent pictures and realistic fake chats are almost old hat by now. A newer scam to be wary of is in the mix now, says Tucker: AI-driven audio and video — including live calls in each case.
AI software is good enough to replicate specific voices saying things they’ve never said, and deepfake technology means you can turn even still images into relatively convincing video clips.
But, Tucker says, “one of the most significant developments is AI-driven video calls. Scammers can now manipulate pre-existing images and videos to create the illusion of real-time interaction, making it harder for victims to verify someone’s identity.”
Beyond the fact that it’s a technological marvel, he notes that this leap forward “enables fraudsters to make their deception appear more credible, increasing the chances that victims will trust them.”
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Finally, though it’s not AI-related directly, scammers can now leverage cryptocurrency’s elevated popularity into getting away with financial fraud in a way that’s impossible to track or recover.
Are Men More Vulnerable to AI Dating Scams?
The phrase “romance scams” may conjure images of lonely women being strung along by people posing as handsome, debonair gentlemen, but that’s far from an accurate portrait. In fact, Tucker says, “studies have shown that men report being victims of romance scams more frequently than women.”
“Several factors may contribute to this trend,” he says. For instance, “Many scams are designed specifically to target men, often using AI-generated profiles of attractive women to capture their attention.”
This is likely due in part to the fact that, well, as a group, men have more money than women. If you’re in the scamming business, scams that target them have the potential to provide higher return on investment.
One factor you might not have considered, though? Girl talk — or the lack thereof, rather.
“Men may be less likely to discuss their online dating experiences with friends or family, which means they often miss out on warnings that could help them avoid scams,” Tucker explains. “A man’s reluctance to share these experiences can result in a lack of awareness about common scam tactics and red flags.”
Societal expectations around the ‘man-as-provider’ can also play a role, Tucker notes. If men see it as their duty to pay for things in a dating context, that can spill over to someone they haven’t yet met, if they think the feelings are real — no matter how fake the ‘person’ on the other end really is.
“By creating situations where the victim feels pressured to help, whether it is a financial emergency or a promising investment, scammers manipulate men into sending money, making it seem like an act of support or generosity,” he explains.
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However, per the Pour Moi study cited earlier, the most at-risk group wasn’t men, but older people regardless of gender, as just shy of one-third of the participants failed to identify any of the four AI-generated profiles in the 10 they were shown.
So, if you’re a senior citizen, or if you know and love senior citizens who are actively online dating, now may be a good time to talk to them about AI scams.
How to Protect Yourself From AI Dating Scams
A recent survey of 90,000 people by World Network showed that 90% of respondents “indicated they would prefer dating apps to include a verification system to confirm that users are real humans,” while two-thirds are concerned that apps aren’t yet taking adequate measures to ensure a bot-free experience.
“Many major dating apps have started using AI-based security measures to combat scams, but the level of protection varies between platforms,” says Tucker. “Some dating apps now use AI-driven scam detection systems that analyze messaging patterns to flag suspicious behavior. Others have implemented stronger identity verification processes, requiring users to submit live selfies or short videos to confirm their authenticity.”
“In addition to technological safeguards, several platforms have launched educational initiatives to inform users about common scam tactics, including AI-driven deception,” he adds. “These efforts help users recognize red flags before they become victims.”
That’s good because, as Tucker says, scammers are constantly figuring out ways to get past the barriers that apps set up, so remaining cautious is important. Here are some potentially scammy behaviors to watch out for with AI spambots:
Be Wary Of: Profiles That Seem a Little Too Perfect
If you match with someone who seems way out of your league, that could be a sign that you’ve gotten lucky — or it could be a sign of a dating scam.
With AI tools, there’s no limit to what scammers can have these photos show, so a profile that seems perfectly calibrated to your tastes may just be an instance of scammers who know what their victims are attracted to.
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Most AI text is generated with perfect grammar and punctuation, but may sound a little formal. While the right series of prompts can produce something more human, a dating bio whose phrasings sound like they belong on LinkedIn rather than a dating app could be a sign you’re not dealing with a real person.
Be Wary Of: Instantaneous Responses Whenever You Message
Ever languished by your phone, waiting for a crush or match to message back? That’s a natural part of the dating experience — but it’s not one you’re likely to encounter with AI bots, who may be programmed to respond immediately so their marks never get frustrated or lose interest.
This also lines up with Tucker’s point that scammers “work to establish trust quickly, often engaging in “love bombing” by expressing deep affection and commitment far too soon.”
“While not exclusive to dating scams, it’s still a red flag,” he says. “Therefore, if someone you have never met in person is already discussing a future together or professing love after only a few conversations, it is a strong indicator of a potential scam.”
Be Wary Of: People Who Avoid Meeting in Real Life
Since dating scammers are relying on lies and deception to get money out of you, the more real an interaction is, the trickier it is for them. If you have any doubts about a match’s realness, asking them to go from DMing to a phone or video call could provide insight into the question.
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However, with the rise of AI tech, that’s no longer necessarily the case.
“Scammers often avoid live video calls, but when they do use them, AI deepfake technology can now create the illusion of a real person speaking,” says Tucker. “If you suspect a deepfake, a good way to test the authenticity of a video call is to ask the person to perform a spontaneous action, such as turning their head or raising their hand. AI-generated videos often struggle with real-time, unscripted movements.”
At the end of the day, however, meeting in real life will be your best bet to confirm that someone’s a flesh-and-blood person.
It’s also just good practice when it comes to online dating — once you’ve chatted for a little bit and sense some conversational chemistry, ask them on a date! If they try to find excuses not to, it’s probably a sign they’re not looking for the same thing as you — and possibly that they may not be a person at all.
Be Wary Of: Talking About Cryptocurrency
While many real people are excited to talk about cryptocurrency, it’s not a stretch to say that it’s typically seen as more of a male-oriented hobby. So if you match with a beautiful woman who brings it up unprompted early on? That’s a tell.
“Scammers frequently introduce financial requests into the conversation, and this is one of the clearest warning signs of a scam. Requests for money, cryptocurrency transfers, or gift cards should be viewed with extreme skepticism,” says Tucker.
If a dating match is pressuring you to send or spend money before you’ve met in real life, it’s a near certainty that it’s a scam. Add crypto to the mix, and getting any money sent back can become nothing short of impossible.
In short, Tucker says, “the combination of AI-driven deception, large-scale automation, and untraceable financial transactions has significantly increased the effectiveness and reach of modern dating scams.”
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