The phrase was popularized in the early to mid-2010s, and while it’s used less these days, the trend of daters shifting toward more serious relationships during fall and winter remains a relevant cultural factor, in part because the factors that made cuffing season a recognizable concept back in the day haven’t exactly abated.
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Feeling the fall urge to commit to a relationship this season is perfectly normal. But there are some things you should consider before getting into a relationship during cuffing season.
Here’s everything you need to know about cuffing season, from what it is and why it happens to important considerations to take if you’re thinking about shifting to a more serious relationship this season.
What Is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season is a cultural phenomenon where daters look for more exclusive relationships during the fall and winter seasons, roughly between October and March.
What causes folks to want to couple up during these particular months?
“A contributing factor to such a phenomenon is the socially driven behavior shaped by shorter days and holiday gatherings,” explains Monica Lynne, LMHC, AASECT-certified sex and relationship therapist and a resident relationship expert at dating app Flirtini. “During this period, many people prioritize pairing up over casual dating, which creates a sense of warmth, safety and emotional connection.”
In fact, given that it’s normal for many mammals to hibernate during the colder months and have their true mating season in the spring, you could argue that cuffing season is a human example of similar tendencies to be less active in the winter and more frisky as it gets warm again.
The Benefits of Cuffing Season
Having someone to stay with during the cold winter months in the Northern Hemisphere is one of the main draws of cuffing season.
Of course, getting yourself into a relationship just because you want to stay warm inside might seem a bit extreme. But as Layne Baker, a licensed marriage and family therapist explains, seasonal factors can sometimes be the push a more casual relationship needs to turn serious.
“There’s a natural draw to define relationships that are already in play around the holiday time: colder months mean cozy days spent indoors with your partner, and stacked events might be more enjoyable and/or tolerable when you’re bringing along your ‘plus one,’” she explains.
Basically, a cuffing relationship also gets nosey family members off your back about dating during the holidays. And if you don’t celebrate the holidays (or don’t head home during that time of year), Baker says having a partner to fill that gap, which might otherwise feel quite lonely, can also be appealing.
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The Drawbacks of Cuffing Season
Getting into a relationship simply because you’re lonely, it’s cold outside, and you don’t want to spend the holidays alone is obviously not great for your personal growth and development.
“Sometimes singles get together simply as a holding pattern for lonely times, which can prevent someone from engaging in a very important learning when you date yourself,” explains Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com. “Picking someone for the sake of offsetting loneliness prevents picking a partner more intentionally for the creation of a shared life.”
Cuffing relationships can feel good in the moment. But if you’re cuffing up with someone you know isn’t the right person for you in the long run (and a LTR is ultimately what you’re looking for), participating in cuffing season can keep you from getting there.
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Furthermore, if you’re engaging in a relationship just to avoid loneliness, you’re running the risk of seriously hurting the other person if they’re more serious about it than you are.
Do Cuffing Season Relationships Last?
The overall success of a cuffing relationship depends on what both partners hope to gain from it. Though plenty of couples get together and stay together during cuffing season, Zachary Zane, sex and relationship expert for #LubeLife says many cuffing couples get together with the mutual understanding that this relationship is seasonal — just like the trend.
“With cuffing, you’re seeking a short-term committed relationship to get you through the colder months,” says. “It’s nice to have a partner to cuddle with during cold weather, watch scary movies and take to holiday office parties. Then, come spring, you break up because you want to be single for the nice weather and enjoy summer unattached.”
That said, not all cuffing relationships follow this trend.
“If two people use this period to truly get to know each other rather than just escape loneliness, such relationships can turn out to be even stronger than ‘off-season’ ones,” says Lynne.
Cuffing Season Considerations
If you’re considering getting yourself into a relationship during cuffing season, Baker recommends asking a few key questions:
Is this someone I would pursue a relationship with during any other time of year? Do I genuinely enjoy spending time getting to know them and sharing about myself?Do I really want a relationship right now, or am I just trying to avoid being single during this time of year?
If you answered “no” to any of the above, Baker says it’s time for a gut check.
“Do you feel OK about entering a relationship simply because it’s cuffing season, and does your potential partner feel the same way? Being on the same page as the person you’re dating is crucial in any time of year, but these questions include some extra considerations unique to cuffing season,” she says.
It’s also important to remember that getting into a relationship isn’t the only way to feel less alone during the colder months.
“Just because you don’t have romantic companionship during cuffing season doesn’t mean you have to be alone,” says Zane. “You can still watch movies with friends. You can invite friends to holiday parties or to your house for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Getting cuffed is about having connection during the cold months, but you can absolutely have connection with people you aren’t dating.”
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