That’s right: Speed dating (which was created in the late ’90s and became popular in the early 2000s before being eclipsed by online dating) is making a comeback.
Eventbrite data revealed that there were over 1.5 million searches for dating and singles events between 2023 and 2024, underscoring a desire to date offline, with previous reports from the event company showing a surge in speed dating events.
“Singles are so exhausted from dating apps, and so desperate for a non-virtual connection, that these in-person events are starting to boom,” says Amanda Hood, CEO and VIP matchmaker and coach at The Crush Confidential.
But what exactly is speed dating and is it worth your time? Here’s what you need to know about speed dating events, the pros and cons of meeting people in that way, and whether it’s the right approach for you.
What Is Speed Dating?
Speed dating is a structured dating event where participants rotate and have short, five- to eight-minute conversations with potential romantic partners.
After each interaction, you rate your mini-date on a scorecard. At the end of the event, organizers gather the scorecards and, if there is mutual interest between two people, they connect them. From that point on, you can stay in touch and go on a follow-up date.
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Like matchmaking, speed dating seems to be making a real comeback these days. To find speed dating events, try a Google search in your city or check out platforms like Eventbrite or Meetup. Events are often organized based on age range and held in venues like bars or coffee shops. Ticket costs may vary, and they may also include drinks and food.
When you get there, you register, grab your scorecard and learn about the event guidelines, such as when and how to switch tables. There’s usually a timer and an audio cue letting you know it’s time to move on to the next conversation.
Pros of Speed Dating
The format of speed dating comes with benefits and drawbacks. The first advantage is that you get to meet singles in your area in person.
“Speed dating events make meeting in real life easy and less intimidating,” says Samantha Friedwald Samwick, founder of Sammy Swipes. “Everyone is there for the same reason, so there is less of a feeling of ‘putting yourself out there’ with a stranger, as well as a lessened fear of rejection.”
Further, you only get a few minutes to connect, which is a low-pressure way to assess whether there’s attraction or not.
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This can save you time compared to online dating, where it might take you a while to match with someone, exchange messages and schedule a date, only to find out that you don’t actually click in person. With speed dating, it’s easier to get a sense of whether you have chemistry.
“You’re hearing their voice, feeling their energy, sensing their aura,” says Hood. “All of this physiological connection is important to determine chemistry.”
Plus, speed dating eliminates the possibility of catfishing — or at least makes it several orders of magnitude more complicated.
Cons of Speed Dating
While for some, only having a few minutes to make a memorable impression may feel low-stakes, for other people, it can be stressful.
And while getting kicked out of a conversation you’re enjoying practically mid-sentence can be annoying, it can be even more of a bummer if you felt like you hit it off with someone only to find yourself not getting connected with them at the end of the night. That might sting a bit more than swiping on someone whose profile you looked at for 15 seconds and never matching with them.
Also, just because people aren’t swiping doesn’t mean that they’re not focused on physical attraction first. According to Hood, some daters may just scan the room and decide who they want to talk to immediately based on appearance.
It makes sense: Research shows that people decide whether they’re interested in someone in about three seconds. So, even if you have an entire eight minutes to chat, first impressions are formed very quickly, and event participants might not give each other a real chance.
Who Is Speed Dating Best For?
So, who is speed dating best for? It can truly be for everyone, but some aspects of it might jive with your personality and lifestyle more than others.
“People with outgoing personalities can thrive in this setting, but a more introverted person may take longer to warm up to a connection, which could hurt the chances of a really great match,” says Samwick.
That said, if you’re an introvert, you might also appreciate the fact that you don’t have to come up with all sorts of creative conversation topics during the few minutes that speed dating takes, notes Hood.
Would you describe yourself as data-driven and analytical, even in your love life? Speed dating can be a good way to assess baseline compatibility, as you can ask the same questions to every date and compare answers, adds Hood.
Those who are adventurous and open-minded might enjoy the opportunity to connect with new people from different walks of life, even if it doesn’t turn into a romantic relationship.
Finally, if you have a demanding schedule, speed dating can be a great alternative to spending hours on dating apps swiping through thousands and thousands of profiles.
Speed Dating Tips
Want to give speed dating a shot? Here are a few tips to have a successful, enjoyable evening (even if you don’t find love right off the bat):
Treat speed dating like a first date: “As you would prepare for a first date, wear date attire, shower and properly groom. Show up as the best version of you,” recommends Hood.Avoid only talking about yourself: Even though you only have a few minutes, good listening skills can transform the vibe of the conversation and turn an awkward first few seconds into a budding connection. Be kind: “Give your connections the respect and time they deserve and show that you are here for them,” says Samwick. Hood agrees: “Even if you know that the person across the table is not your soulmate, be kind and graceful. Everyone there is seeking a connection and companionship.” Don’t be too quick to judge: Yes, the conversations are quick. But they’re just meant to be a starting point to assess whether you want to learn more about someone on a follow-up date. If you’re on the fence about someone, it might be worth going on an actual date to get to know each other in another setting. Try different events: Your experience with speed dating can also vary depending on the event. For example, if you’re looking to meet women and the majority of participants are other men, you’re probably going to be disappointed, and that can happen.Try different events and organizers in your area before deciding speed dating isn’t for you.
Speed dating isn’t a magic solution to the challenges of modern dating. But it can be a refreshing way to do something differently. At best, you meet someone with real potential. At worst, you walk away with a good story or even a new friend.
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