Adam4Adam
Grindr
Scruff
Bumble
Tinder
Growlr
Hinge
Raya
When it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers.
Meaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.
According to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, nearly 50 percent of users are between the ages of 25 and 39. Basically, if you’re a millennial or gen Z user, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a lasting and fulfilling relationship (whether is was a friendship, romance or friends with benefits), while 21 percent said they did not find love, only lust.
You can take away that from purely a numbers perspective, men seeking men (or women seeking women!) would benefit from having an online profile.
RELATED: My Mother’s Priority Was to Make Sure I Never Felt “Less Than” for Being Gay
But online dating, no matter what your sexual orientation, can be challenging. You have to wade through hundreds of filtered pictures of strangers. Then you have to make awkward small talk to see if you’ll even have common interests to talk about once you meet up … and after all that, there is still the coordinating of the first date. It can be exhausting to go through the process time after time in the hopes of finding someone who will make you want to delete your online dating profile forever.
So if you’re looking to meet a new friend (or find the perfect guy to bring home to meet mom), browse below to find a beginner’s guide to online dating as a gay man.
The Best Dating Apps for Members of the LGBTQ+ Community
OkCupid
Although not exclusive to gay men, OkCupid still remains one of the most used online dating websites owing to the fact it’s free and has some major name recognition. When it comes to asking your friends which online dating website they’re signed up for as a millennial, most will respond with OKCupid.
It allows you to fill out questions in order to find matches with similar minded people, and since it is not toted solely as a sex app — chances are you’ll more likely to find someone you’ll be happy to bring home to mom to. OkCupid skips being like all those other dating sites with a slew of extra features such as allowing you to swipe on potential matches (much like Tinder) as well as answer insightful questions about yourself such as “What are your favorite novels?”
Whether you’re a gay Christian looking for another gay date to discuss your faith with, or if you’re a bisexual dude looking to experiment with going out to coffee with another male, chances are the OkCupid is the place to find them. In addition, their mobile app allows you to take your online dating profile everywhere you go, making this one of the best free gay dating options available to you. It’s worth mentioning that OkCupid was the first dating app to let users choose their preferred gender pronouns, and also provides 22 gender and 13 sexual orientation options to choose from.
Price: Free to download and use. Basic memberships start at $9.95/month, but this price lowers if members commit to longer memberships. Premium memberships start at $44.99/month, but come with features like viewing who likes you, three free SuperLikes each week, and unlimited activity reports.
Pros & Cons of OkCupid
Pros:
No cost to browse and interact with people on the site
Simple and straightforward design is easy to use and isn’t distracting
Upgrading to the A-list is cheap and offers great features
Cons:
People aren’t taking it seriously as it’s free to register
Have to pay to get full functionality of the site
Not as much selection in smaller cities or towns
Check out OkCupid
Read our full OkCupid review
Adam4Adam
One of the more commonly known gay online dating sites, Adam4Adam is more straightforward with its users’ intentions than OkCupid. The site is primarily used to find sexual partners who match your sexual and physical interests. This is great news for anyone who wants to try out a sexual fantasy or experience they’ve yet to have since Adam4Adam has an extensive filter feature that allows you to sort through users by age, race, weight, sexual position, and relationship status.
Yes, Adam4Adam even takes into account that a lot of homosexual couples are more adventurous with their sex lives. You’re able to sort through gay couples who are seeking to bring in a third for either solely fun or for a gay polyamorous relationship.
Either way, this free site has stood the test of time since it was launched in 2005 because it simply works to connect gay men who are both looking for a sexual connection and the potential for it to turn into more than just a one-night-stand.
Price: Free to download and use. An Adam4Adam VIP membership has different pricing options, such as $9.99 for one month, $24.99 for three months, $44.99 for six months, or $77.99 for one year.
Pros & Cons of Adam4Adam
Pros:
Full range of services for free
Easy to navigate
Offers users vast filtering options
Cons:
High volume of fake profiles
Interface
Security concerns
Check out Adam4Adam
Read our full Adam4Adam review
Grindr
Perhaps the most widely used gay dating app, Grindr has become synonymous with gay online dating. The reason for this is simple: Grindr is a clean looking app that allows you to filter through your matches who are in your local area. Using GPS match generation, Grindr allows you to see how far away your potential dates/ hookups/ new friends are from you.
Grindr is free, however the premium feature (which begins at 14.99 a month) allows you to see unlimited men in your area and get more specific with your filter searches (for example, the free version of Grindr only allows you to filter your searches with 3 categories while Premium lets you filter through 8 categories of specification).
Grindr is also known for first introducing the “tribe” feature for gay men. You’re able to sort yourself into categories such as: Jock, Nerd, Discrete, Twink, Daddy, Rugged, Poz, Trans, and Otter. This allows you to connect not only with like-minded people, but allows people who are interested in your specific “tribe” to locate you. All of this makes Grindr a big step up from using your local classifieds.
Price: Free to download and use. Grindr XTRA costs vary depending on the subscription length, with prices ranging from approximately $14.99 per week to $99.99 per year. Monthly plans typically range from about $19.99 to $27.99, with longer-term plans offering discounts. Grindr Unlimited is even more premium and costs $39.99 per month in the United States, with longer-term plans available for $79.99 for three months and $239.99 for one year. Pricing can vary by region and may change over time.
Pros & Cons of Grindr
Pros:
Quick registration
Popular app with large active user base
Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups
Cons:
Free account has limited search capabilities
Lots of ads
Can only view small number of profiles in your area
Check out Grindr
Read our full Grindr review
Scruff
Piggybacking off of Grindr, Scruff is another geolocation gay dating app that allows you to “unlock” photos of yourself and others in order to expedite the pesky “pics?” problem apps like Grindr face. Scruff also has employed the tribe feature on the app, but allows you to back search for people who are directly interested in the group of gay men you most identify with.
In addition, it allows users to check out which queer-focused events are going on in their area during the week and which Scruff users in your area have RSVP’d. This feature not only makes Scruff both a great dating and sex app, but it allows gay men to meet in safe spaces where they can connect in real life.
Of course, Scruff is primarily used for those looking to make a sexual connection, and the lack of requirement for a profile picture opens up users to fake profiles and catfish. But, despite these minor setbacks Scruff succeeds where most gay dating websites fail- it moves beyond the solitary matching scheme and offers users the chance to attend events together, and to discuss queer news with each other.
Even if finding a sex buddy isn’t on your mind, Scruff is ideal for finding someone in your area that checks all your boxes owing to their varied and nuanced ‘categories’ section and filter options. It fulfills the need for connection, friendship, sex, and, yes, community building, something usually missing from those other gay dating apps.
Price: Free to download and use. Scruff PRO memberships cost the following: One month is $14.99, three months is $39.99, and 12 months is $119.99.
Pros & Cons of Scruff
Pros:
Quick registration
Popular app with large active user base
Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups
Cons:
Free account has limited search capabilities
Can only view small number of profiles in your area
Check out Scruff
Read our full Scruff review
Bumble
Given that Bumble’s main selling point, in heterosexual dating, is having the woman message first, you might not think it’s inclusive of the LGBT+ community, and in the past, that was true: they used a separate app for queer dating called Chappy. They’ve since folded those functions into a single app, which is great news for the queer community, since it greatly expands the available user base while streamlining things for gay and bisexual users. The “women send the first message” mechanic is dropped for queer users, but someone still needs to send a message within the first 24 hours or the match is dissolved.
Price: Free to download and use. Bumble also offers optional paid subscriptions (Bumble Boost and Bumble Premium) and one-time purchases (Spotlights and SuperSwipes) for extra features. Prices vary depending on your location, the duration of the plan you choose, and current promotions.
Pros & Cons of Bumble
Pros:
Large userbase
Easy to indicate what (and who) you’re looking for
More people seeking serious relationships
Cons:
Prompts can come across as excessive
Lots of overlap with Tinder in terms of the userbase
Check out Bumble
Read our full Bumble review
Tinder
Tinder may seem like a straight person’s app, but it has recently made great strides for LGBTQ+ inclusion. Launched around Pride 2019, Tinder introduced the features “Orientation” and “Travel Alert”. The former is rather straightforward: Orientation lets users select their sexual orientation, acknowledging that the feature will “continue to evolve and change, just like sexuality.”The latter, Travel Alert, could potentially be a lifesaver, protecting LGBTQ users when they enter any of the 70 countries that have laws criminalizing queer people.
Tinder will alert an LGBTQ user when they open the app in one of these countries so they can take extra caution and not unknowingly place themselves in danger. Once the alert is activated, users can choose to remain hidden or connect with new people. If they choose to stay visible, their sexual orientation or gender identity will not be displayed until they leave the area. While the Orientation feature is admittedly a little late to the party, Travel Alert is a new and important feature that deserves to be recognized.
Price: Free to download and use. Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum are paid tiers offering extra features.
Pros & Cons of Tinder
Pros:
Quick registration matched with a user-friendly interface
Popular app with large active user base
Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups
Cons:
No matching algorithm to narrow field for gay men
Limited bio prompts
Check out Tinder
Read our full Tinder review
Growlr
Growlr is an app similar to Grindr and Scruff, but is more niche, marketed primarily for bears (the typically huskier, harrier variety of gay man). The app, like Grindr and Scruff, uses geolocation technology to source potential mates for whatever type of connection you’re seeking. Currently, Growlr hosts a fraction of users that the other popular gay dating apps do, but that’s to be expected when you’re marketing to a fraction of the gay community.
Since its recent acquisition, the company that purchased Growlr, The Meet Group (which also owns dating apps Lovoo, Tagged and Skout) plans to introduce live-streaming capabilities. The streaming is meant to be an entertainment component with the idea being that when users aren’t getting a lot of messages, there are livestreams put on by others that can provide entertainment.
Price: Free to download and use. Growlr PRO Memberships range from $5.49 to $13.99.
Pros & Cons of Growlr
Pros:
Location-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups
Users are active
Clean layout
Cons:
Limited “type” of men
No matching algorithm
Can only view small number of profiles in your area
Check out Growlr
Hinge
Hinge’s mantra is “designed to be deleted,” as they’re in the business of helping users find a meaningful romantic relationship that will last for a while, if not for life. The benefit of Hinge is that members create profiles that are comprehensive snapshots into their life, personality, and interests. These range from photos and videos to answers to specific questions about beliefs, memories, and goals. You can even queue prompts for prospective dates to take part in, which encourages purposeful engagement over surface-level interaction and swiping.
The company also claims to take part in algorithm-driven matches, meaning they’ve developed internal technology to suggest potential partners based on personal preferences. Roses, which refresh and can be purchased beyond a weekly free allotment, act like a Super Like on other apps and are used to express a deeper and often more enthusiastic interest.
Overall, this is probably the most popular dating app among the LGBTQ+ community if you’re not primarily looking for sex.
Price: Free, though there is an option to partake in Hinge+ and HingeX, which cost approximately $15-$35 per month and $25-$60 per month, respectively. This price varies based on subscription length and location.
Pros:
Extremely easy to use and the ability to set many filters Users seem more authentic about their intentions, as it requires effort to build a profileA large number of members from the LGBTQ+ community
Cons:
Even with a premium memberships, you’re limited to Roses without purchasing themMay need to expand location parameters after seeing every profile in the areaIt can be difficult to find past conversations without a keyword search feature
Check out Hinge
Read our full Hinge Review
Raya
Once considered the most exclusive dating app on the market, invitation-only Raya has now become more accessible with a robust catalogue of love-seeking members. Though membership continues to be invitation-only, the screening process seems to be more relaxed, as referrals from current members can help speed up an application for approval.
That said, with increased popularity comes less direct access to the public figures of Raya’s past. Members were once able to go on legitimate dates with everyone from actors and musicians to athletes and company CEOs, with a mutual respect and understanding for privacy.
If you fancy yourself an overachiever or are simply curious about the type of high–profile user that Raya currently attracts, this may be the platform for you.
Price: A standard monthly Raya membership costs $24.99, with a more premium “Raya+” membership at $49.99 per month. Longer-term options are available, such as 6-month or annual plans, which can offer a slight discount compared to paying monthly.
Pros:
Direct access to public figures such as celebrities, influencers, and entrepreneursThe team goes out of its way to look for strong professional and creative backgrounds Unable to screenshot member profiles for added security
Cons:
Memberships link to Instagram profiles, which may seem invasiveAn air of superiority from members who bask in its exclusivity Steep monthly membership fees and a somewhat small LGQBT+ community
Check out Raya
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