For example, a lot of people think that by bringing a toy, or lube, or something that vibrates into the sack, the reason for doing so must be because there’s something lacking in the bedroom. Which is completely not true.
Actually, it’s often the opposite. When the sex is so good that you can’t even imagine what could possibly make it better, well, that’s the perfect time to start exploring the vast world of sex toys.
If sex toys make you picture something phallic-looking that a woman can only use on her own, think again. Thanks to the latest and greatest in sex toy technology advancements, today there are sex toys specifically engineered with the pleasure of both parties in mind. Some are even remote control-operated or can sync to Bluetooth.
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Plus, there’s so much more to experience when it comes to sex toys beyond the ones that vibrate. There’s no better time to start experimenting with any bondage fantasies you or your partner might want to dip your toe into thanks to a pair of sexy leather cuffs. Or if you’re looking for something a bit wilder, why not combine two of the most fun activities there are, and hang up a sex swing at your place to take for a spin?
If you didn’t even know that something like a sex swing existed, you’re starting to get the idea of just how many toys there are out there that you and your partner could be missing out on.
But of course, you can’t just show up to her place armed with a bag full of vibrators and bondage toys to try. And breaking out a magic wand or set of anal beads mid act is probably going to make things pretty weird, too. Experts agree that there needs to be a conversation had beforehand.
“Whenever you want to try something new in bed, talk about it outside of bed,” says relationship expert April Masini. That way there’s no pressure and if one of you rejects the idea, it’s less a rejection of sex than it is of the actual new device.”
So, how should you frame the conversation?
According to Masini, your best bet is to do your homework, and make sure you know about all the benefits of the toy that you’re suggesting the two of you use.
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“Like anything you’re trying to sell, start with why you think it would be good for the person you’re selling,” she says. “In other words, make the pitch be all about the other person!”
Luckily, we’ve done the work for you. We’ve rounded up some of the top sex toys out there on the market, and laid out all the pros of each one.
Whether you’re looking to start small with a sex accessory, a toy that you can both use together, or one for your partner to fly solo with, we’ve got some suggestions that are sure to make your special someone pretty happy.
Toys to Increase Pleasure During Sex
If your partner is into the idea of you using a toy on her during the act (there are some incredible sex toys for women on the market), or if the two of you are interested in options that stimulate both your private parts simultaneously (yes, such magic exists), here are a few adult toys to consider that are easy to operate, and get the job done.
Dame Eva II Hands-Free Couples Toy
Best For: The woman who needs a little extra clit stimulation during penetrative sex
Typically, using a sex toy means that you’re taking turns. And of course, it’s hot to watch your partner react to all the stimulation of the toy you’re using on her. But we don’t blame you for wanting to get in on the action. The solution? A couples vibrator that stimulates both of you. The Eva II from Dame is designed to be worn during intercourse, and it fits right under your partner’s labia. Meaning, both parties get to enjoy the sensation it gives off. Plus, it stays put, no matter what position you and your partner shift to.$129 at Dame.com
Womanizer Next
Best For: The woman who wants a lot of extra clit stimulation during penetration
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little classic vibration, but the past decade of vibrators has undeniably been all about airflow and suction technology. One of the first brands to dominate the field was the Womanizer, and their recent Next model is another strong offering to deliver powerful orgasms without overstimulating the clit. While it’s definitely an option for her solo experiences, its small size and quietude make it a great option for partnered sex as well.$219 at Womanizer.com
We-Vibe Sync O
Best For: The woman who wants all-over vibration pleasure during P-i-V sex
Like a rabbit toy, the We-Vibe Sync O is designed to stimulate the clit and the G-spot at the same time. But unlike a rabbit toy, it’s designed to be used during penis-in-vagina penetration… the slim profile means there’s lots of space for you to slide in there and experience the vibrations at the same time. $179 at We-Vibe.com
Fantasy Door Swing
Best For: Adventurous women who love trying new positions
Think about how much fun swinging on a swing was back in your playground days. Now imagine combining that with sex. What a time to be alive, am I right? Using a sex swing opens you up to a whole new world of sex position opportunities. If you’re thinking, ‘that seems like it’d be uncomfortable,’ you’re wrong. With a padded seat to keep whoever’s on the bottom nice and comfy, and super easy setup (all you need is a sturdy door in your house to get this baby rocking), there’s no reason not to be swinging your partner to the big O on the regular.$26.77 at Amazon.com
Toys to Masturbate With
This section is full of toys that your partner can use on her own, when she’s missing you. Or while the two of you are having steamy FaceTime sex. Or for her to use when she’s teasing you with dirty Snapchats. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that these are gifts you’ll also most definitely benefit from.
Rechargeable Magic Wand
Best For: Women who likes to take their time with it
If this is the first wand (or for that matter, sex toy) that your partner has ever owned and operated, there’s no reason not to gift her with the classic. This magic wand features (a more manageable) four vibration settings, with a simple on/off switch, and immense amounts of vibration power for maximum stimulation of the clitoris. It’s also rechargeable, and reaches full power after just three hours of being plugged in. It’s a solid sex toy that’s beloved by beginners and experts alike, and an ideal introduction into the magic world of wands.$159.99 at AdamEve.com
plusOne Rose Arouser
Best For: The woman who likes orgasms (if her beau is on a budget)
Very few sex toys can double as a statement decor piece, but rose toys also have a beautiful aesthetic. This one from plusOne is not only a very solid airflow-based option but it’s also got an absurdly reasonable price point. Want to blow your partner’s mind without breaking the bank? This is your best bet.$19.99 at Amazon.com
Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3
Best For: The always on-the-go woman who gets shit done effectively
Another ideal toy for a first time user. It’s not as small as a bullet vibrator, but if the true-to-size vibrators and dildos feel too intimidating for your partner, get her something small that packs just as much of a punch. Using powerful airflow technology to drive her clit wild, the reviews confirm that this is one of the best masturbation toys out there for women.$89.95 at Satisfyer.com
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator
Best For: The woman who craves G-spot and clit stimulation at the same time
What were we saying about rabbit toys? Though the Fifty Shades branding may feel a touch retro at this point, this toy is anything but passé. It mixes deep, powerful G-spot vibrations with lots of clitoral stimulation from its pointy ears… a perfect gift for any girl who’s greedy for pleasure. $99.99 at Lovehoney.com
Toys for Teasing Your Partner
Foreplay — or non-penetrative sex — is a key component to a quality sex life, so you’ll want to invest in a few toys that take teasing your partner to the next level. Here are the best toys for getting her turned on before the act.
Lovense Lush 4
Best For: Women who love getting teased in public
Ever wanted to have total control over your partner’s sexual pleasure… while out and about in public? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to Bluetooth toys like the Lush 4 from Lovense. It syncs with an app, allowing you to use your phone to slowly (or quickly) drive your partner wild from afar. Pro tip: Play with this one out in a public setting. Being turned on without being able to go at it with each other will build up sexual tension that’s earth-shattering once it finally gets released. $129 at Lovense.com
UPKO F*ck Me Leather Cuffs
Best For: Those who are curious about getting a little kinky with restraint play
If you’re ready for something more intense than holding your partner’s hands or tying them with a necktie or length or fabric you have lying around, maybe you’re ready for something a little more badass than fuzzy handcuffs. Skip the small stuff and go right for the big leagues — these gorgeous leather cuffs from UPKO are so hot they were featured in a real-life kinky movie. $149.99 at UpkoUsa.com
Lovehoney All Tied Up Bondage Play Kit
Best For: Those who are excited to explore all kinds of BDSM kinks.
Restraint play is great, but it’s only one facet of BDSM. If you want to dip your toes in a variety of kinky playstyles together, this kit from Lovehoney is a great option. It’s got beginner-friendly quick-release cuffs, a flogger for whipping, nipple suckers, a tiny bullet vibrator, a face mask and more. Three cheers for versatility! $94.99 at Lovehoney.com
Three Bump Silicone Anal Butt Plug
Best For: Butt stuff enthusiasts who want to start using toys
So, your partner wants to play around with butt plugs. One of the weirdest things about starting to use this kind of toy is sticking something in your butt and leaving it there. The solution? A butt plug with a handle. This one features three varying sizes, so that you can play around with different fits until she finds the right one.$12.99 at Amazon.com
Sex Accessories
So they’re not necessarily sex toys… but they are products that can boost your sex life in a big way. Adding a few simple sex accessories to your arsenal is an easy way to shake things up without investing hundreds of dollars in an assortment of toys. Here are a few key recommendations.
Pjur Analyse Me! Relaxing Lube
Best For: The first-time anal explorer looking to dip her toe into the world of butt stuff.
What were we just saying about anal stuff? Don’t try sticking anything up there without some lube. We’re big fans of this one from Pjur, which uses jojoba oil to help relax the sphincter muscles. That being said, don’t mix this with the aforementioned silicone butt plug — silicone lube will degrade silicone toys. Instead, use it for finger- or penis-based penetration, or metal/non-silicone toys, and save a water-based lube like this one for silicone toys. $32.50 at Pjur.com
Epiphany Clit Arousal Serum
Best For: The girl who has multiple orgasm goals
There are tons of arousal-enhancing gels and serums out there these days (we wrote an article about them all), so if your partner’s looking for a little something extra when it comes to her pleasure, grab a bottle of Epiphany and spread a small amount on her clit to make her most sensitive part even more stimulated. It’ll give her a pleasant, tingling feeling that’ll help orgasms come more easily.$34 at TryEpiphany.com
The Pelvic People Kiwi
Best For: Women who experience entry pain with penetration
Unfortunately, lots of people with vaginas experience pain from penetration. If that’s your partner, you should check out the Kiwi from the Pelvic People. It’s designed to help your partner get comfortable with penetration; its smooth, non-phallic shape means it combines a gentle entry experience with clitoral vibration, reinforcing the pleasure potential of internal sensations. (Or try their Ohnut depth-limiting rings to allow you to thrust without needing her to take your entire length.)$115 at ThePelvicPeople.com
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