Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).
The Question
“I really want to step up my underwear game but I feel like the more expensive options look way too uncomfortable and, frankly, a bit too feminine. Is there a happy medium here? What can I wear that will look sexy for the ladies but also give me the support that I need?” – Keith, Rochester, NY
The Answer
Hey-hey, ho-ho, those old Hanes boxers have got to go. Hey-hey, ho-ho, those old Hanes boxers have got to go. Seriously. A future love interest may not be able to get a glimpse of what’s underneath your pants right away but the goal is that she will eventually, right? Right.
Not only does nicer, well-constructed underwear enhance your lower half in all the right places, they’re also generally more comfortable. In fact, the fabrics are usually of higher quality (like microfiber) and come with built-in bulge support so that your flaccid manhood isn’t flopping around like a salmon pulled from an Alaskan river. It also lifts the booty, in case you’ve been slacking during leg day at the gym and want to give the illusion that you actually love to squat and lunge on the regular.
Do yourself a solid and retire anything that is oversized, ancient, youthful, stained, pilling, ripped, stretched, and/or prone to holes. The “straight boy” undergarments, much like the rest of a lackluster, overworn wardrobe, will show that you simply don’t care about your personal style or appearance. This, in turn, will make any woman drier than a glass of sauvignon blanc on a hot summer day.
RELATED: Exploring the World of Male Lingerie
Remember, underwear is the first thing a prospective hook-up will see before you whip out your schlong and get down to business. Would you gift a Cartier in a Walmart shopping bag? Of course not. That’s why it’s important to make sure that the entree looks just as good as the dessert so that she’s not startled when the last course, if you will, is served and revealed. Would you eat out a vag dressed in frilly granny panties? Though I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum, chances are no. Keep things sexy.
This doesn’t mean you must surrender to a lifetime of briefs and even thongs. There are many sensible trunks and boxer briefs that don’t look like they were purchased in a pack of 10 during a clearance sale. It also doesn’t mean you need to rock a flashy and often metallic Calvin Klein, Versace, or Hugo Boss label. There are plenty of inexpensive, brandless, and neutral options that will absolutely get the job done…and for half the price!
RELATED: Best (and Sexiest!) Jockstraps
If you’re still clueless, ask a lady friend to assist in an Amazon shopping spree and buy a few cheaper varieties to test. This will help you narrow down the fits that provide the utmost in breathability, moisture-wicking, and ball support. From there, you can splurge on a few designer duds for date nights and special occasions.
But at the very least, gents, I implore you to ditch anything that may read as cheap, unflattering, and/or hanging on by a literal thread. If you even have to question the state of your drawers, in the trash they should go (along with the action figures, posters of Playboy Bunnies, and Axe body spray, but I digress…).
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The Question
“I really want to step up my underwear game but I feel like the more expensive options look way too uncomfortable and, frankly, a bit too feminine. Is there a happy medium here? What can I wear that will look sexy for the ladies but also give me the support that I need?” – Keith, Rochester, NY
The Answer
Hey-hey, ho-ho, those old Hanes boxers have got to go. Hey-hey, ho-ho, those old Hanes boxers have got to go. Seriously. A future love interest may not be able to get a glimpse of what’s underneath your pants right away but the goal is that she will eventually, right? Right.
Not only does nicer, well-constructed underwear enhance your lower half in all the right places, they’re also generally more comfortable. In fact, the fabrics are usually of higher quality (like microfiber) and come with built-in bulge support so that your flaccid manhood isn’t flopping around like a salmon pulled from an Alaskan river. It also lifts the booty, in case you’ve been slacking during leg day at the gym and want to give the illusion that you actually love to squat and lunge on the regular.
Do yourself a solid and retire anything that is oversized, ancient, youthful, stained, pilling, ripped, stretched, and/or prone to holes. The “straight boy” undergarments, much like the rest of a lackluster, overworn wardrobe, will show that you simply don’t care about your personal style or appearance. This, in turn, will make any woman drier than a glass of sauvignon blanc on a hot summer day.
RELATED: Exploring the World of Male Lingerie
Remember, underwear is the first thing a prospective hook-up will see before you whip out your schlong and get down to business. Would you gift a Cartier in a Walmart shopping bag? Of course not. That’s why it’s important to make sure that the entree looks just as good as the dessert so that she’s not startled when the last course, if you will, is served and revealed. Would you eat out a vag dressed in frilly granny panties? Though I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum, chances are no. Keep things sexy.
This doesn’t mean you must surrender to a lifetime of briefs and even thongs. There are many sensible trunks and boxer briefs that don’t look like they were purchased in a pack of 10 during a clearance sale. It also doesn’t mean you need to rock a flashy and often metallic Calvin Klein, Versace, or Hugo Boss label. There are plenty of inexpensive, brandless, and neutral options that will absolutely get the job done…and for half the price!
RELATED: Best (and Sexiest!) Jockstraps
If you’re still clueless, ask a lady friend to assist in an Amazon shopping spree and buy a few cheaper varieties to test. This will help you narrow down the fits that provide the utmost in breathability, moisture-wicking, and ball support. From there, you can splurge on a few designer duds for date nights and special occasions.
But at the very least, gents, I implore you to ditch anything that may read as cheap, unflattering, and/or hanging on by a literal thread. If you even have to question the state of your drawers, in the trash they should go (along with the action figures, posters of Playboy Bunnies, and Axe body spray, but I digress…).
You Might Also Dig:
What Gay Guys Could Teach Straight Men About… Getting KinkyWhat Gay Guys Could Teach Straight Men About… Non-MonogamyWhat Gay Guys Could Teach Straight Men About… Sexual Health