“You have beautiful eyes.” Chances are, she’s heard that one before. It doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate it, but knowing the difference between a generic compliment and one that truly resonates is key if you want to stand out.
Coming up with the right words can be challenging and even nerve-wracking. What if you say something awkward? Or, worse, what if you accidentally offend her? It’s easy to fall back on pickup lines and compliments that feel safe and familiar, but that’s when you risk sounding like every other guy.
Giving the kind of compliment that makes her eyes light up boils down to a mix of thoughtfulness, specificity and sincerity. It’s not about memorizing lines, but rather about feeling confident in your ability to notice meaningful things and say the right thing.
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Here are a few tips that will help you dodge clichés and make a good impression when complimenting her — without telling her things she’s heard a dozen times before.
1. Make It Personal
Don’t want your compliment to be forgettable? Then make it unique by focusing on the unique woman you’re pursuing.
“Notice what makes her different — what makes her her. Then speak from that place,” suggests Tammy Shaklee, certified matchmaker, relationship expert and founder of H4M Matchmaking.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does have to be sincere and specific enough not to sound like a pick-up line.
“Keep it simple, honest, and specific. A heartfelt remark, even if it’s small, carries far more weight than a generic compliment ever could,” adds Shaklee.
2. Think Beyond Her Appearance
She may look beautiful, but that’s not all she wants to be valued for.
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If you’re getting to know each other, she’s likely shared things that she’s proud of with you. Pay attention to those achievements and compliment her on them — and watch her reaction.
As long as you’re genuine, it’s the kind of compliment that will land in a meaningful way, notes Stephen Frost, founder of Marriage Matching.
3. Be Specific When Complimenting Her Looks
It’s OK to compliment her looks too, as long as that’s not the only thing you focus on.
But if you want to avoid sounding like every other guy, be specific. Instead of saying “you look fantastic” when you meet her for a date, notice one detail. Maybe it’s how shiny and bouncy her hair is or the way her dress flatters her.
“When dating, many women put a great deal of time, thought and expense into presenting their best selves” says Shaklee. “A sincere compliment on just one of these details can let her know you truly see and appreciate the care she’s invested in herself.”
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4. Pay Attention to the Little Things
Giving a compliment that stands out is all about attentiveness over general observations. When you spot a little something she does or says you genuinely appreciate, say so.
“Men should pay closer attention and be more observant,” says Shaklee. “Listen to the small details she shares in conversation; those little insights often reveal what matters to her. If something resonates with you, let her know.”
5. Learn What She Values & Compliment Her Accordingly
Not sure where to start? Ask her questions.
“The way to find what resonates is to actually ask about her, what’s important to her, rather than guessing, then find points [you find] positive,” says Frost.
If she’s passionate about her career, tell her you love how driven she is. If she loves animals, mention how much you admire her compassion. Reflect back the things that matter the most to her.
By getting to know and understand her, you’ll also give off all the natural signals that make a compliment sound meaningful. On the other hand, Frost notes that commenting on things she doesn’t value can break rapport.
RELATED: Top 10 Ways to Know If You’re Compatible
6. Avoid Reusing Compliments
Avoid recycled compliments at all costs.
“I once knew a man who complimented every woman at the table on her shoes, one by one, over the course of a couple of hours. It was clear that it was his only go-to. Don’t be that guy,” says Shaklee.
The truth is, people have a radar for authenticity. She might not know for a fact that you’ve told the same line to your three previous dates. But she’ll sense something is off.
7. Be Mindful of Tone & Body Language
It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.
“Never underestimate the power of tone of voice and body language, they form a massive part of communication,” Frost says.
If those non-verbal cues don’t match your words, it can undermine a seemingly thoughtful compliment.
At the end of the day, the best compliment doesn’t need to sound like poetry or be elaborate. It just needs to be real. When you’re tuned into the subtleties and actually care about who she is, you’ll find the right words. Pay attention, say what you appreciate — and say it from the heart. She’ll feel it, and that’s what makes it memorable.
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Coming up with the right words can be challenging and even nerve-wracking. What if you say something awkward? Or, worse, what if you accidentally offend her? It’s easy to fall back on pickup lines and compliments that feel safe and familiar, but that’s when you risk sounding like every other guy.
Giving the kind of compliment that makes her eyes light up boils down to a mix of thoughtfulness, specificity and sincerity. It’s not about memorizing lines, but rather about feeling confident in your ability to notice meaningful things and say the right thing.
RELATED: How to Flirt, Explained
Here are a few tips that will help you dodge clichés and make a good impression when complimenting her — without telling her things she’s heard a dozen times before.
1. Make It Personal
Don’t want your compliment to be forgettable? Then make it unique by focusing on the unique woman you’re pursuing.
“Notice what makes her different — what makes her her. Then speak from that place,” suggests Tammy Shaklee, certified matchmaker, relationship expert and founder of H4M Matchmaking.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does have to be sincere and specific enough not to sound like a pick-up line.
“Keep it simple, honest, and specific. A heartfelt remark, even if it’s small, carries far more weight than a generic compliment ever could,” adds Shaklee.
2. Think Beyond Her Appearance
She may look beautiful, but that’s not all she wants to be valued for.
RELATED: Qualities Women Look for in a Man
If you’re getting to know each other, she’s likely shared things that she’s proud of with you. Pay attention to those achievements and compliment her on them — and watch her reaction.
As long as you’re genuine, it’s the kind of compliment that will land in a meaningful way, notes Stephen Frost, founder of Marriage Matching.
3. Be Specific When Complimenting Her Looks
It’s OK to compliment her looks too, as long as that’s not the only thing you focus on.
But if you want to avoid sounding like every other guy, be specific. Instead of saying “you look fantastic” when you meet her for a date, notice one detail. Maybe it’s how shiny and bouncy her hair is or the way her dress flatters her.
“When dating, many women put a great deal of time, thought and expense into presenting their best selves” says Shaklee. “A sincere compliment on just one of these details can let her know you truly see and appreciate the care she’s invested in herself.”
RELATED: The Difference Between Attraction & Compatibility
4. Pay Attention to the Little Things
Giving a compliment that stands out is all about attentiveness over general observations. When you spot a little something she does or says you genuinely appreciate, say so.
“Men should pay closer attention and be more observant,” says Shaklee. “Listen to the small details she shares in conversation; those little insights often reveal what matters to her. If something resonates with you, let her know.”
5. Learn What She Values & Compliment Her Accordingly
Not sure where to start? Ask her questions.
“The way to find what resonates is to actually ask about her, what’s important to her, rather than guessing, then find points [you find] positive,” says Frost.
If she’s passionate about her career, tell her you love how driven she is. If she loves animals, mention how much you admire her compassion. Reflect back the things that matter the most to her.
By getting to know and understand her, you’ll also give off all the natural signals that make a compliment sound meaningful. On the other hand, Frost notes that commenting on things she doesn’t value can break rapport.
RELATED: Top 10 Ways to Know If You’re Compatible
6. Avoid Reusing Compliments
Avoid recycled compliments at all costs.
“I once knew a man who complimented every woman at the table on her shoes, one by one, over the course of a couple of hours. It was clear that it was his only go-to. Don’t be that guy,” says Shaklee.
The truth is, people have a radar for authenticity. She might not know for a fact that you’ve told the same line to your three previous dates. But she’ll sense something is off.
7. Be Mindful of Tone & Body Language
It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.
“Never underestimate the power of tone of voice and body language, they form a massive part of communication,” Frost says.
If those non-verbal cues don’t match your words, it can undermine a seemingly thoughtful compliment.
At the end of the day, the best compliment doesn’t need to sound like poetry or be elaborate. It just needs to be real. When you’re tuned into the subtleties and actually care about who she is, you’ll find the right words. Pay attention, say what you appreciate — and say it from the heart. She’ll feel it, and that’s what makes it memorable.
You Might Also Dig:
The Art of Flirting Without Negging Proven Signs She’s Interested Non-Sexual Things That Women Find Wildly Erotic