Surprise getaways. Balloons and rose petals everywhere. Fancy gifts. It’s easy to think that romance is all about grand gestures, but the smallest acts can have the biggest impact.
“Genuine small romantic gestures carry weight because they rest on the small details of living. Brewing coffee a little stronger, or a little sweeter, because you know how they like it, folds the two of you into the morning instead of pushing you apart,” Melissa Legere, LMFT at California Behavioral Health.
On the other hand, something like booking a helicopter ride for your anniversary is memorable, but it’s a one-off moment. And it can even feel performative or put pressure on the person planning it, says Annmarie Kelly, relationship expert and author of The Five-Year Marriage.
“Romance is really about little things, done often, that are unexpected and take the receiver by surprise, or touch the receiver in a deep place,” she notes.
Not sure where to start? Here are nine small romantic gestures that show you care and leave a lasting impression.
1. Text Something Thoughtful Out of the Blue
Your text message history is full of little updates and banter. But how often do you send something lovey-dovey just because? Texting a random “can’t wait to see you later” from your desk is a gesture that takes zero planning but still lands with meaning, says Legere.
RELATED: How to Give Her Unique Compliments
2. Bring Them a Favorite Treat
They say that love is a verb. Picking up their favorite snack while you’re out and about is a good idea, suggests Legere. It’s not about the treat itself, of course. The gesture says “I was thinking of you” and “I know what you like” all at once.
3. Leave a Handwritten Note
A handwritten message is one of the most romantic things you can do. A few years ago, Kelly’s spouse started leaving her morning notes like “I love you” or “good luck today” before leaving for work. It’s simple but holds emotional weight.
RELATED: How to Write the Perfect Love Letter for That Special Someone
“He writes on a napkin, and sometimes adds silly stick figures. Sometimes he puts the napkin under a glass of lemon water or cup of tea. Knowing that he took five minutes to think about me while getting ready for his busy day says ‘I love you’ more than words ever could,” says Kelly.
4. Hold Their Hand Unexpectedly
Want to put an instant smile on their face? Lovingly grab their hand when they don’t expect it.“I love it when my spouse holds my hand, and especially in an unexpected place like the grocery store, or on our way to an appointment. It says ‘we’re together and I’m glad,’” adds Kelly. This move is especially impactful with someone who values physical touch as a form of affection.
RELATED: What Love Languages Are & How to Know Yours
5. Start a Small Shared Ritual
As a couple, it can be challenging to keep the initial curiosity you have about each other going against the rhythm of daily life, according to Legere. Starting a shared ritual is a way to keep the spark alive and show you still invest time and thought in the relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. It can be as simple as Sunday coffee in bed or a daily evening stroll.
6. Share Words of Appreciation
You may thank your partner when they take out the trash but how often do you say “thank you” like you truly mean it? Share words of appreciation and watch them light up. The key is to make them feel truly seen. Pick something specific, recommends Kelly.
Maybe it’s showing appreciation for the dinner they made when you were feeling exhausted, or telling them it meant a lot to you when they cheered you up on a bad day. As Kelly puts it, “Those things say ‘I love and appreciate you’ and make your special someone feel special and, isn’t that the whole point of romance?”
RELATED: What Does True Love Feel Like?
7. Offer Physical Comfort
Putting their comfort first is another way to show them you love them without saying a word. Slide the front door open a half-second sooner to usher them inside from the rain or push the extra blanket over to their side of the couch during movie night, recommends Legere.
8. Remember the Details & Act on Them
Romance is all about showing that you pay attention to the details. Maybe it’s a dessert or a park where they used to jog. End the night at the café that serves that favorite dessert or casually suggest a detour through the park during golden hour, says Legere.
It’s a small thoughtful move, but it delivers more romance than an impersonal display ever could.
9. Make Mundane Exchanges Meaningful
From an impromptu slow dance while making dinner to a handwritten note tucked in a lunch bag, romance is what you make of mundane moments. It’s also about presence.
RELATED: Why Grand Romantic Gestures Are Not That Great
Instead of asking about their day and listening while multitasking, slow down. Take in the conversation. Take note of their body language and emotions. Offer a hug or an empathetic comment if needed. Truly being there, fully and without distractions, is one of the most romantic things you can do.
All those small actions consistently add up over time and deepen your connection. And hey, if you want to pull off a grand gesture on a special occasion, that’s nice too. Just don’t forget the everyday acts.
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How to Know If You’re in Love Best Romantic Gifts for Women What Guys Get Wrong About Love
“Genuine small romantic gestures carry weight because they rest on the small details of living. Brewing coffee a little stronger, or a little sweeter, because you know how they like it, folds the two of you into the morning instead of pushing you apart,” Melissa Legere, LMFT at California Behavioral Health.
On the other hand, something like booking a helicopter ride for your anniversary is memorable, but it’s a one-off moment. And it can even feel performative or put pressure on the person planning it, says Annmarie Kelly, relationship expert and author of The Five-Year Marriage.
“Romance is really about little things, done often, that are unexpected and take the receiver by surprise, or touch the receiver in a deep place,” she notes.
Not sure where to start? Here are nine small romantic gestures that show you care and leave a lasting impression.
1. Text Something Thoughtful Out of the Blue
Your text message history is full of little updates and banter. But how often do you send something lovey-dovey just because? Texting a random “can’t wait to see you later” from your desk is a gesture that takes zero planning but still lands with meaning, says Legere.
RELATED: How to Give Her Unique Compliments
2. Bring Them a Favorite Treat
They say that love is a verb. Picking up their favorite snack while you’re out and about is a good idea, suggests Legere. It’s not about the treat itself, of course. The gesture says “I was thinking of you” and “I know what you like” all at once.
3. Leave a Handwritten Note
A handwritten message is one of the most romantic things you can do. A few years ago, Kelly’s spouse started leaving her morning notes like “I love you” or “good luck today” before leaving for work. It’s simple but holds emotional weight.
RELATED: How to Write the Perfect Love Letter for That Special Someone
“He writes on a napkin, and sometimes adds silly stick figures. Sometimes he puts the napkin under a glass of lemon water or cup of tea. Knowing that he took five minutes to think about me while getting ready for his busy day says ‘I love you’ more than words ever could,” says Kelly.
4. Hold Their Hand Unexpectedly
Want to put an instant smile on their face? Lovingly grab their hand when they don’t expect it.“I love it when my spouse holds my hand, and especially in an unexpected place like the grocery store, or on our way to an appointment. It says ‘we’re together and I’m glad,’” adds Kelly. This move is especially impactful with someone who values physical touch as a form of affection.
RELATED: What Love Languages Are & How to Know Yours
5. Start a Small Shared Ritual
As a couple, it can be challenging to keep the initial curiosity you have about each other going against the rhythm of daily life, according to Legere. Starting a shared ritual is a way to keep the spark alive and show you still invest time and thought in the relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. It can be as simple as Sunday coffee in bed or a daily evening stroll.
6. Share Words of Appreciation
You may thank your partner when they take out the trash but how often do you say “thank you” like you truly mean it? Share words of appreciation and watch them light up. The key is to make them feel truly seen. Pick something specific, recommends Kelly.
Maybe it’s showing appreciation for the dinner they made when you were feeling exhausted, or telling them it meant a lot to you when they cheered you up on a bad day. As Kelly puts it, “Those things say ‘I love and appreciate you’ and make your special someone feel special and, isn’t that the whole point of romance?”
RELATED: What Does True Love Feel Like?
7. Offer Physical Comfort
Putting their comfort first is another way to show them you love them without saying a word. Slide the front door open a half-second sooner to usher them inside from the rain or push the extra blanket over to their side of the couch during movie night, recommends Legere.
8. Remember the Details & Act on Them
Romance is all about showing that you pay attention to the details. Maybe it’s a dessert or a park where they used to jog. End the night at the café that serves that favorite dessert or casually suggest a detour through the park during golden hour, says Legere.
It’s a small thoughtful move, but it delivers more romance than an impersonal display ever could.
9. Make Mundane Exchanges Meaningful
From an impromptu slow dance while making dinner to a handwritten note tucked in a lunch bag, romance is what you make of mundane moments. It’s also about presence.
RELATED: Why Grand Romantic Gestures Are Not That Great
Instead of asking about their day and listening while multitasking, slow down. Take in the conversation. Take note of their body language and emotions. Offer a hug or an empathetic comment if needed. Truly being there, fully and without distractions, is one of the most romantic things you can do.
All those small actions consistently add up over time and deepen your connection. And hey, if you want to pull off a grand gesture on a special occasion, that’s nice too. Just don’t forget the everyday acts.
You Might Also Dig:
How to Know If You’re in Love Best Romantic Gifts for Women What Guys Get Wrong About Love