Here’s what to know about the pros and cons of double dates and group dates — and some guidance to keep in mind for the best possible experience.
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Are Group Dates a Good Idea? Are Double Dates a Good Idea?
On the whole, experts do recommend double dates and group dates — but with a few caveats.
According to Julie Nguyen, a certified dating coach at the dating app Hily, a double or group date is ideal during those early, exploratory stages of dating when you’re evaluating compatibility and battling nerves.
“I believe they’re a good choice if you’re socially anxious, or if you’re easing your way back into the dating world,” adds Lauren Salaun, a relationship expert and host of the AMPLIFY podcast.
People show up differently around friends than they do one-on-one, Nguyen tells AskMen.
“You learn a lot by watching how someone listens, includes others, and navigates social dynamics,” she says. “Plus, double dates and group dates lower pressure, easing nerves and getting people to relax more. When things feel lighter, people are often more themselves.”
Nguyen notes that going on dates with others comes with another advantage: outside perspective and input.
“Your friends can notice things you might miss when you’re caught in chemistry,” she explains.
If you have a strong, tight-knit community, Nguyen says group dates are also a great way to determine whether a potential partner will fit into your world.
Angela Nicole Holton, a dating and relationship coach at Love Sanctuary Academy, agrees that double dates and group dates can be a fun way to break up the monotony for couples who have been together for a long time.
“Couples might be inspired and pick up dating and relationship tips and tools from one another,” she says.
Still, experts agree there are circumstances under which it’s better to stick to one-on-one dates. Nguyen advises against double dates and group dates if you’re:
Trying to build more emotional intimacyHoping to have a serious and vulnerable conversation that warrants privacy (such as labeling the relationship)Using them to avoid conflict
“Double or group dating is not for couples that are using it to avoid addressing existing underlying problems,” explains Holton. “I recommend double dating and group dating for couples that are in a healthy and happy place in their relationship.”
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What Are the Disadvantages of Double Dating and Group Dating?
There are definitely some downsides when going on a date with other couples, too.
One of the cons to consider is that couples may get caught up in a comparison game, says Holton. For example, if your date notices that someone else’s partner is being more physically affectionate or being more generous with the compliments, that might magnify existing insecurities or spark new ones.
“There’s also less space for emotional depth,” adds Nguyen. “It’s unlikely you’re going to be able to get into a vulnerable or meaningful conversation in a group setting. Important nuances can get lost because the hangout makes things inherently more casual and surface-level when you’re connecting with many people in the same space.”
For those reasons, you may end up leaving a group date unsure of where you stand with your date, and whether you’re in the friend zone or have romantic potential, says Brie Temple, COO and Chief Matchmaker at Tawkify.
Not to mention, if the overall group chemistry is awkward or there’s tension between one or more of the other couples on your date, that can color your experience — and how you feel about the person you’re with, says Nguyen.
Tips for Double Dates and Group Dates
If you want to get the most out of a double date or group date, be sure to heed this expert advice:
Be careful who you date with: “Choose people who naturally mesh with different personalities so you’re not stuck managing the room,” says Nguyen. “Pick nonjudgmental, easygoing friends who feel emotionally safe and know how to bring others into conversation.”Consider everyone involved when choosing activities: This may go without saying, but if, for example, someone you invited on the date has a gluten intolerance, don’t choose a pizzeria that isn’t dietary-restriction friendly. Or, if you know someone hates bowling, skip the candlepin alley. It’s important to consider the preferences of all couples involved, says Holton, to ensure the vibe is fun and positive. “Double and group dates that spark nostalgia tend to go over very well,” says Holton. “Think of activities you enjoyed in your youth, like mini golf, a game night, or a hike.”Seek out moments for one-on-one interaction: Don’t be afraid to pull your date aside for some more intimate conversation, says Salaun. That might mean inviting them to come up to the bar with you to order, to step outside for some fresh air, or to join you on the dance floor.Keep the numbers small: According to Temple, four to six people is the sweet spot for building a sense of connection and comfort.Avoid the comparison contest: Every relationship dynamic is different, so there’s no point in getting caught up in what another couple is doing, says Temple. Focus on your own date and how you can use this double date or group date experience to get to know them better.
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